Dear Mr. Claus.

    I'm L.S. from the show "cheaters"..... Upon your reindeer's request, we did some research into Mrs. Claus and....... The results are in...... It seems your wife of 300 or so years has plans to meet with a derranged man by the name of "Willie"...... After pulling phone records and transcripts of her cell phone calls, he goes by the alias of "Bad santa" (We are as of yet un sure if this a pet name she gave him, or if he presented himself to her by this alias)..... Our sources say he has been seen with an armed short black man with pointy ears in a green outfit (possibly an elf?) and an armed, unidentified woman..... They seem to frequent malls and shopping centers regularly, and this "Willie" (If that is his real name) seems to be impersonating you at said locations....... We have found your wife has plans to meet with this "Willie" on the evening of December 24th after you begin your annual delivery run....... If you would like to confront her about these findings on the evening of the 24th, please contact us before december 20th and we will bring all of our evidence and a camera crew to the northpole....... We understand this is a sensative matter and will be treated with the utmost respect and dignity (Especially if you decide to shove a candy cane up "willie's" "sack of toys")...... Thank you for your time Mr. Claus...

Sincerely,

 - L.S. of "Cheaters"