I've a lot on my mind that I want to get off my chest. I have so much to say and feel there is little time in the day to say it. I want to talk all about myself and be selfish about it at the same time. Yet, I feel there is more to life than being a selfish person who is wasting space on this earth.
So, yeah - I know I do not waste space on this earth and I am exceptional in the selfless department but it is senseless and detracts from my generousness to brag about my generosity. Indeed, that would be the selfish act if I were to brag about it - but hey - the gift is in the giving.
Soooooooooooooooo without further adieu let's commence a Crankyponts blog!
I am sitting here thinking I am dead tired from doing absolutely nothing all day other than fielding birthday wishes on this last day of February 2010. I reflect my life since birth and say, YES I am here, alive, happy, and nothing will ever hold me back again.
I have been introspective this year. Trying to hedge on in a world that is ever changing but also full of plight that just depresses the crap out of me. Yet, I want to champion my causes. My causes being Autism, c hildren's mental health, and my church.
I am losing ground though and feel extremely overwhelmed and pulled in too many directions. I want to scream to have some sort of relief. Yet, I know that this scream would be primal but not in a "hey, I am stressed the hell out kind of way." This scream would be of Crankyponts proportion but more like a gentle shout in a very loud way from a mountaintop. I am here, I am proud, I am loved, you are loved
(well, I should hope you are loved), and we're alive.
I am saying "I" WAY too much. I have returned to rudimentary blogging or would this be considered journaling my thoughts. Hell, isn't that what blogging is all about? DUH!
So, here I sit, nothing really to complain about other than only holding a part-time job and hoping that I find a FULL time job before my unemployment runs out. Yet, I have come to find that if I were to work FULL time I would most likely lose that job because Crankyponts is broken lately. I have applied for disability because I feel I am disabled now. Hell, I can't even write a simple blog without getting my head stuck somewhere in the deep dark stank of my anal orifice.
I find that my coursework is losing ground too. I have ADD and maybe some hyperactivity mixed in with bipolar with manic features. So, I am nuttier than a can of cashews. Isn't that what makes me - me? I have so much to say and yet - here I am babbling to my hearts content.
I have ideas but don't want to do the work that makes those ideas good. I am an ideas person not a person who wants to do the work. I mean, I want to lead not follow. Ok, ok…nobody has ever really gotten anything done based on tossing an idea in the wind hoping that someone would catch it. That would be like me pitching the idea that jellybeans are good when no one in the world knew what the hell a jelly bean is. I'd actually have to make the damned things myself, find marketing to get the word out to the world and then people would either like them or not.
So, I had an idea a couple of months ago about hosting a motorcycle ride for Autism. I need people to serve under my command to help with organizing this event. I need people …….people! I mean, I know what it takes such as insurance to cover the riders…..where would the money be coming from cause last I checked my money tree died from neglect. I also need advertising and what nots. So far, this plan is coming together very slowly and I want what I want and I want it now!
This idea will come to fruition if it kills me….okay it won't kill me but it will come to fruition. I have to call the motorcycle dealership again and find out what is going on with them. I have to figure out which date is good and run with it. I have to this and I have to that and what am I doing talking about it? Well, it's 10pm on a Sunday night and I can't get much done - so I blog the sh!t out of it!
This can and will happen.
I am on a reprieve from school - long story short - small break between classes because the next class is only held at certain times of the year. Yay - I've done nothing to get that class started early but I will work on that this week. It is my mission to be ahead of the game to get a better grade because last class was hell and I needed some time to well, work and I didn't have it.
Also, I am working on getting a bigger place for my children and me. We NEED it - NOW…but I will wait patiently until it happens.
Okay blogging ends abruptly because I said so… Love to all who read!
PS: I have a new man but I am not revealing his identity here, on redhedd because I love him too much to cause him any embarrassment. He is shy and a very private person. Just know that he makes me happier than a pig in poo.
Tags: Eunice Crankyponts
