Seriously if you haven't seen this you need to. Kids or no this is a glorious Backyardigans With Adam Pascal from Rent. I watched this even after my wee one went to bed. It's on Nickelodeon on demand. Badass trust me.
So are the reds really goin down. Let's look at what's out there. A retrospect if you will from the eyes of a drunkard.
Fact 1. ONLY 1% OF THE WORLDS POPULATION IS A RED
scary huh? No. Think of all the races in the world that cannot be red at all. Who has the worlds largest populations? China, India, Africa has a good sized one, And many Arab countries are extremely populated. Guess what. None of those countries have red hair. They never have!
I guess it could be hypothetically possible but until I see a red on the Harlem Globe trotters I won't believe it. So 1 percent ain't lookin as bad as all that.
Fact 2. THE GENE IS MUTATED AND BOTH PARTNERS MUST POSSES IT IN ORDER TO HAVE RED HAIRED CHILDREN.
True but we forget that red headed children are born from parents with all sorts of hair all the time. Hillary for example. Mom dark dark brown, Dad straight black. Three kids all reds. I don't mean kinda red. I mean straight off the boat, can't get a job in NYC in 1880 kinda red.
I leave you with this. As long as we human beings keep bonin the crap out of each other. Then the Red gene will keep on a passin around. So go fourth my people and keep doin the dirty!
The Rev Hippy Tim
Beer Drinkers Society
Myspace.com/beerdrinkerssociety
P.S. Sorry for the myspace plug, but gotta capitalize on all this redhedd air play.
As a young boy I used to dream about the day that I could get into politics. That and Elvira. Fish she was hot.
But in those days not so long ago there seemed to be more words in political speeches. That's not to say that the speeches today aren't long. They just use the same words over and over again. It's all been so dumbed down for us hasn't it. They say things like I support the war on terror. But if they would just say what they intended to do about the war on terror. THEN WE WOULD GET THE FUCKING IDEA THAT THEY SUPPORT THE FUCKING WAR ON TERROR!!!
I see in the near future political debates consisting of 5 minutes. One candidate walkes up to the podium and sais. Pro-life, pro-guns, anti-evolution, Pro-border wall, pro-banging camels in Iraq for troop moral. Then the next guy comes up and sais the EXACT opposite.
Cause that's all we hear anymore! Every issue is black and white. Option A or B. No grey. No thought. No true resolution when an issue is attached to a party platform. Well here's some news for you some issues have many angles, many possibilities. Until these corporate influenced corrupt sons a bitches figure that out then nothing will be done.
Every candidate seems to be useless. The only hope that I have found is John Edwards. Ron Paul is a fanaticle nut job. He's got it in his head that Canadians are comming to America for medical treatment. Because the Canadian Health care system is in such bad shape. HA! HA! HAHAHAHA! The last time I was in a Canadian hospital it was beautiful. All my relatives are enjoying free chiropractic treatment at their own conveniance. Ohhh and enjoying the advantages of not being sick as often because their pills never costr them a dime. How could a man who's delivered 4000 babies know so little about the health care system? Eh screw em all that's what I say.
He sang on most of our songs when we recorded. When he got older we had plans to have him with us on stage for every show. But he was still to young. He brightened up everyday, and made life not so hard. He never wanted anything more than to have fun and be loved like all all of us.
He smoked with us, he sang with us, and I will miss him everyday of my life. But on the morning of December 12th after he had fallen asleep in my shirt I fell asleep and killed him. The day before he had just learned a new word.........daddy.
Let
me sum up the whole thing for you. In our current state, we have a
country full of whiney self absorbed little assholes. They're too busy
blaming their parents for all of their defects, and that's the reason
that they can't land a better job than wal mart. Instead of blaming the
government for allowing companies to ship themsleves to third world
countries. We hav a nation of parents who both have to work at wal
mart because they had children and now have no time to go to college.
So the child no always but often winds up in front of the Tv and behind
the playstation controller . Available at wal mart for 25.99, and made
in China. You can almost feel the creativity being sucked out of their
eye sockets. We hav a government that watches this happen in
wonder and awe. As a perfectly planned plot rages on in success.
Because creativity is the all time destroyer, and arch enemy of corrupt
governments. The poorer and more self-absorbed we become, the easier we
are to control. Just turn on the radio. Big business and big
government have taken control of all things media. The stink of their
propaganda and flashy lights smells up every house across america. Turn
off the TV, sever the cord that they are tieing around your neck. Smoke
a bowl and go write something. Get reconected to your brain. You may
find it's been missing you. Every goddamn time you see a big cloud
stop. Don't fishing move untill you see something amazing. Help
every person you can. Even if it's a pain in the ass. which it normally
is. You'll love it later when you need a hand and a hand is there. Make
no mistake the government doesn't give a fish if you suffer. If you die
and your children starve. They view black on black crime as a way to
keep jail populations lower. And everyday Walmart opens a new store. So
the rich get richer and the middle class is all but gone. Replaced by
young chinese boys who are willing to work for pennies. This way he can
make up for what his 12 year old prostitue sister doesn't make. If you're looking for the punchline it isn't here.
There isn't any innocence anymore is there? I miss the days
when perverts were misterious. Peeping toms you know. Then I got older
and realized that we're all perverts. Hell I can see double penatration
at the gas stations these days. But seriously we're all perverts.
Everyone you know and everyone reading this right now is a pervert.
Of course there will be some of you out there who will say"I'm no
perve! the only woman I've slept with is my wife. The only time I ever
watched porn was in college!" and to that I say bullsugar. Ok mr holy
roller remember the last time you slept with your wife? Remember when
you gave a little smack on the ass. Nothing really hard, just a pat a
little slap, a representation of forceful action upon your significant
other. Then she in turn let out a little squeek. An acknowledgment of
the violence that's just occured on her right ass cheek. That was you
recieving sexual pleasure from hitting your spouse. Hurray perversion!
Welcome to the association. We have meetings every thursday. You can
find the double penetration at the Mobile station on the corner of
Arsenal street and massey. As for me I like the really twisted sugar. Midget porn. Come on who hasn't imagined Frodo Baggins nailing awewyn?The Weed of The Past
For thousands of years starting around the time when natives became
really curious about what happened when you burned things. A plant was
found that made you happy, truthful, and loving. And for some reasons
made them really wanna eat buffalo. It was viewed as a spiritual tool,
a tool to use when in a meeting. Because it is terribly hard to lie
stoned. Your mind cannot conceve deception while high. It takes way to
much effort to lie high. First you need to figure out what you are
going to lie about. Then you need to come up with things that you did
in the lie. Things to make the lie more believeable. Familier thins
that the lie'e will recognise. Instead of "no I wasn't fishing a
transvestite in the mcdonalds parking lot." Instead try "Hey honey I
was looking for a new piece in the new head shop, next to the Mcdonalds
parking lot." You have no time to lie stoned. You're
way to busy telling complete strangers things your best friend doesn't
even know. Wierd sugar like how you et turned on by the smell of rotten
milk and sugar like that. No when you're stoned it is way easier to tell
the truth. Then again maybe weed was why the native leaders traded their own people to whies for shiney beads.
So weed for many years is as it is. Smoked by millions and secret. And
it wasn't until 1932 that a national policy towards the weed is put
inplace. But it wasn't until the Nixon administration that we would see
the true danger of our Governments policy towards "well we made a
decision, fish it let's keep it up". Nixon organized a panel of top
government scientists to investigate the harms of the "KILLER WEED".
After months and months of testing, and sugar loads of puffing the
testing was complete. The conclusion was that weed was a
harmless,pleasant,euphoriant(direct quote from the study). Nixon in
turn banned the findings and whiped the whole thing clean by throwing
out the papers given to him without reading a singl page. After ths
show of typicle political "fish can't show that I was wrong". Weed
stayed Illegal.The weed of a new generation So
we will pass the 1970's and the 1980's because cocain overshadowed
everything. But in the 1990's something called grunge happened,, and
curt cobain happened and a new age of fishing hippies happened. All of
the sudden after 30 years bands like the doors and pink floyd started
selling enough records to be on the charts again. Now the "KILLER WEED"
would come back into focus. Because all hippies poser or not smoke weed.
So now we have a new generation of self pitying, self obsesed, daddy
neer hugged me enough whiney assholes. Now with them came the new great
depression. Your sad you're depressed, your mad you're
depressed, you're happy stop fishin fooling yourself your depressed!
But what to do in a time like this? Why should tax paying Americans
like you and me be forced into feeling emotions? Hell no not on my
watch! What we needed was a super hero, yeah a super drug which with
very little to no testing of long term side effects. What we needed was
DA da da da! Prozac!!! Nothing widstands it's awesome might! HEY KIDS Feeling happy, goofy, giddy, silly, sad, sloppy, or sick? Or maybe feeling confused, confined, discombobulated, discompforted, dissheveled, and depressed. Or you could be feeling uncool, or less than popular You could anxiety, ADHD, or the uncontrolable urge to fish goats!
What ever your malfunction we've got the cure. A miracle pill. This
mini goldmine will take all your problems away as fast as you can tie a
noose. Cause you can't have emotions when you're dead! What I want to
know is when did nurses stations start looking like Nascars? From the
paperclip holders to the paper clips inside. From the pencils to the
pens, paper, staplers, clipboards, memo notes and every other
concievable place. Theres everything from Aderol to Ziban. Everywhere
you look the major pharacutical companies will be there. Every media
possible seems to be trying to tell me that I'm crazy and my duck won't
get hard, and even if it does go up there's another pill to make it
bigger, FUCK! Maybe the reason people are killing themselves
is because they are being put on a pill popping mental roller coaster
ride through hell. People go to your kids and hug them as often as you
can. After all only you an stop Emo. Emo there's another group that
makes me want to give myself a full frontal labotomy. An entire
sub-culture of whiney self-obsessed transvestite assholes. Did you know
they cut themselves and wear girls pants? But tell one of them at a
show to get the fish out of your way or you'll fish the bitch out of
him, and I'm an ass hole. Then they start crying. Then you start
feeling bad because there's a grown man dressed in womens clothes with
running mascera crying like Tammy Fea Baker sitting right in front of
you. "It's ok little guy. No Hawethorn heights does not suck! You are
not a poser. Your daddy really does hate you." Hahaha fishin bitches.
So here we are back to the weed point. The booze kills families and
stays legal. Drinking causes infadelity, car accidents, and violence of
a horrific nature. Men and women across the globe are killing their
families why? "because I was drunk." In the small north
country college town of Canton New York. A young college student was
out drinking one night. He wandered the streets afterwards completely
out of his head. Eventually our hero must have gotten tired.
Unfortunatially he had misplaced his house. Then he came upon a door.
Finding the door locked was a disapointment but not enough to stp out
hero. he punched a hole clean through the door and unlocked it. He
wandered around in this new place till he came upon a nice soft place
to sleep. He shut he door to this soft new place and passed out cold.
Our hero awoke the next morning to the sound of a woman screeming. The
woman was the caretaker of the funeral home and the coffin show room
where we find our hero sitting in a display casket. She followed the
trail of blood from the glass door that had been punched out the night
before. Where you may ask were the stoners on this fateful night? HOME ASLEEP IN THEIR OWN FUCKING BEDS THAT'S WHERE!!! The Booze &nbs; p; & nbsp; The KILLER Weed The only addiction where Non addictive
withdrawls can kill you Downer &nb; sp; &nb; sp; Euphoriant Deppressant &nbs; p; & nbsp; Makes you laugh Liver damage &nb; sp; No long term side effects Drink to much you can die. Smoke to much and &nb; sp; &nb; sp; you fall asleep
New links to Cancer &nb; sp;
New studies show weed may
prevent
cancer from cigarette smoking(by cleaning the Tar from your &nb; sp; lungs)(cigaretts of course
also
legal) 100%legal at 18 years
old ; &n; bsp; ; 100% Illegal no matter what
You look at this and make sence of it please! Because I cannot. Why
would a government take such a great thing and make it illegal. Then
give us substitues for pain like highly addictive morphine patches and
oxycotton. What the fish is going on around here? This is the question
we should all be asking ourselves. Because right now there are people
in jail doing longer prison sentenses over weed posession, than raping
kids. This is the real issue. There is a guy down the street doing two
years on parol for raping a seven year old girl. Meanwhile there are
people doing 5 years or more for having an ounce of weed in a ziplock
bag. Because New York state declares that if your sugar is in a ziplock
bag, it is an automatic intent to sell. Again I ask why.
Chapter 3 "Why I don't trust Uncle Sam" I mean
seriously. An old man with a beard and he wants me. Be honest when your
walking around Wal-Mart and a mean looking old pervert with a Santa
Clause beard walks by, tell me you don't hug your kids a little
tighter. We all do it. Just be honest. Child molesters mimic Santa, and
drive station wagons, and hand out delicious candy. Chapter 4 "A list of reasons in no particular order of reasons to kill yourself." 1- Ballroom dancing is an Olympic sport
2-In NYC if you show up at city hall with a bag full of rat heads. They
then will have to give you 10 cents per head. (I can't make this sugar
up people) 3-Paris Hilton has a fan club 4-They cast an ugly James Bond 5-In Alaska it is Illegal to look at a moose out of a plane window(swear to god) Chapter 5 "The Fox and the folding steel chair"
Fox news is kind of like professional wrestling. Most people don't
believe it. But the ones that do brother watch out. These are the
people that watch that bowling pin headed mother fisher Bill Oriley.
That son of a bitch is the reason I stopped drinking Irish beer. No
offense to Killeans or anything. I just wanted to stay away from
anything that could make me think like that coke sucker.
How does one become so right wing fanatic you may ask. Simple. You
drink Rush Limbaus Viagra produced wood juice. I'm telling you that's
what happened to him. Chapter 6 "The Iron fist of the right"
So if it isn't already established into public knowledge, then I
will tell you. When John Mcain put his bill banning prison torture into
vote. Three people opposed it. Three people in the highest offices of
men opposed not hooking a pair of jumper cables up to a mans nut sack.
So to combat this bill we facilitated "black sites". This is where
we could force more foreign devils to tell us whatever we made up in
our own paranoid heads. Personally if you hooked a die hard to my balls
I would tell you I was Richard Simmons if it would make you stop. Then
I would show you how to dance off the pounds while listening to Little
Richard. We are humans that's all. Flesh and bone and
awhole lot of bullsugar. We are not Olympians and we are certainly not
bullet proof! Now many people say my criticism of our administration
and their Genghis Kahn mentality for foreign policy is kitty liberal
bullsugar. Then they will tell you that I don't support the troops.
Which apparently these days that's about as bad as saying someone has
aids. It's not that I don't support the troops. I just
do it in a different way. I like to stop bullets…………..from going into
them!!!! They supported the troops in the world wars. Nobody does it
now! no matter how many yellow ribbons you put up. Or flags that are
hanging in front of your house(that were not there pre 9 11 I might
add). When was the last time that you saved on water consumption to
help the war effort? When was the last time you quit your job so that
you could build tanks? When was that last time you handed in your gold
over to the state so that it could be melted down to fund the war? You
haven't and you won't. It's easy to support a war when you aren't being
asked to give anything up. But I bet if that old draft came back in,
there would be fires in the streets. It's very simple when you see a
store with a yellow ribbon. They are not trying to say we support the
troops. They are trying to say we support the troops war money that
they are coming back with. Anyone who tells you differently, watches
fox news. I promise you.
"A Dark Tide Rising"
What I don't understand about our newest generation, is how will they
take control. As a society (as it stands) we are completely
disassociated with two thirds of the rest of the world. We couldn't
communicate with Sadam Hussene and the Iraqi people prior to the war.
Maybe if they had those nextel chirp things that I hate so much(so very
much). Beep Beep "where you at durka durka".Our problem is
that we became to isolated from the rest of the world. To the south we
have Mexico. To the north we have Canada. Let's look at our neighbors.MEXICO-Americas
annoying little step child. I have no pity for Mexico at all. 12 to 20
million illegal bitching about how they get treated here. Here's an
idea go back. 12 to 20 million aren't freedom fighters. 12 to 20
million is an army that would make the Mexican government sugar
themselves. I used to clean migrant worker sugar off the floors of jds
rt 282 truck stop in Saledo Texas. Not sugar as in food(well it used to
be food) whole terds. Tell me that these folks are good people just
looking for a fresh start. Bullsugar. CANADA-Let's get this
straight. I fishing fishing fishing fishing fishing fishing fishing
fishing fishing fishing fishing love Canada. But we should all be
honest. East coasters aren't sure if Canada is an actual country.
Middle Americans are positive Canada isn't a country. South western
Americans aren't sure where Canada even is. I mean they could probably
find it but without Google maps they'd be fished. Of course there is always south America............but who cares?Now Cuba i will treat like George bush does and Nixon and carter should have done. Treat it like it doesn't exist. Chapter 2"Back to America home of the free, unless your black"
My fellow Americans what in all holy fishing hell are we doing? Post
world war 2 was meant to be a paradise. War free you know. I mean after
all we formed NATO. All of the bullsugar wasn't meant to ever happen.
The problem today stems from a mushroom shaped one way road map to the
apocalypse. It's the road we started down on August 6th and 9th 1942.
When we dropped Little Boy and Fat man on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. It
was at this point that Rome and America would share a legacy. We as a
country realised the awesome and horrific, absolute power that we held.
In the blink of an eye hundreds of thousands of souls would be wiped
from the planet. Men, women, children, and elderly. Now we
travel through time to the 1950's. at this point we have been through a
war of independence, a civil war, and two countem 2 world wars. Yet it
wasn't until the 1950's that we let interracial marriage be legal. Try
to think of history in this way. Look at the achievements of the time,
and then the social injustices of the same time. For example: When the
write brothers flew the very first plane. Women couldn't vote. When
Frank Sinatra first sang his very first hit Old Man River on live T.V.
Old man river being a song about an escaped slave. A black man could do
jail time for seeing a white woman. We put way to large of
a happy, happy welcome to fishing Wal-mart smiley face on our sorted
past. We've marched as heroes like Julius Cesar, and we've burned as
madmen like Nero. In most cases they led us as sheep to the slaughter.
They convinced the people that some foreign devils wanted to steal
their lifestyle. Also they would say that god is on our side. If you go
by political history as pertaining to religion. Then you will find that
god gets quite a hard-on over Americans killing people.
There was some confusion however during the Civil War. You see the
North was able to use the Bible to make an impressive argument that
slavery was immoral. All were impressed and convinced in the north. The
problem was that the south was able to use the Bible to make an
impressive argument that slavery was not only just, but also gods own
plan for the slaves. I think people should just let god do
his job. Picking who he wants after the battle and let the devil have
the rest. Now I'm no theology, but I personally don't believe that go
was hanging out in the trenches during world war one and two. He seems
to be to busy these days. If you've been watching sports in the last
twenty years. Then I think you will find that god prefers the company
of pro athletes. He's lost a bit of his better judgment I think.
Because every week I see the biggest assholes in the game thanking god
like they know him personally. Damn it i hate Terrell Owens. Next chapters.Why I don't trust Uncle Sam,A list in no particular order of reasons to kill yourself,The Fox and the folding steel chair,and the iron fist of the right.