Rationalization, justification, and denial. Three of the most useful things that can tell us we have some inner conflict about something... if we're self aware enough to see them. They almost always indicate that we're not being honest with ourselves.
"there's no conflict here, an open heart isn't something that can be controlled." (rationalization).
"I should be able to go do this, she's cheated on me twice already and I still stayed. Either she will cheat on me again (or still does), or she'll forgive me like I did for her. Besides, it wouldn't be cheating, it's just balancing the equation." (justification).
"I'm not falling insanely in love with someone else. It's just lust for her body... and appreciation for her beautiful personality. and we have more in common than anyone else I've ever ever known yet we're still different enough that those differences complement each other nicely... and it's not cheating if it's all just in my heart and mind... maybe even sleeping with her doesn't even count, maybe that's only something that involves men." (denial)
So that's my big conflict of the day. Just to put it in another context so it makes more sense to everyone, I'll give an example that I see in a lot of other people:
Rationalization: Smoking isn't as unhealthy as people would have you believe.
Justification: I need to smoke or I'll og nuts and probably get fat and people would have to deal with me being bitchy.
Denial: &n; bsp; I'm not addicted, I can quit at any time. (or) No! I haven't been sneaking outside to smoke whenever you're busy doing something else.
Any time you catch yourself, whether in your mind or talking to someone else, it's a big clue that you're trying to trick yourself. Don't judge yourself harshly because of it, simply see the truth of what's going on in your mind. Stay awake, keep your eyes open (especially the inner eye). Don't try to force your ways of thinking to change, simply observe yourself and changes will naturally occur. I promise you will get to know yourself a lot better and the beauty in life will reveal itself more every day.
