Did You Ever Notice.1. That you can't cry under water? 2. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? 3. Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? 4. Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? 5. Why does a round pizza come in a square box? 6. What disease did cured ham actually have? 7. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? 8. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? 9. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? 10. Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? 11. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? 12. Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. 13. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? 14. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? 15. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? 16. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in the damned boat? 17. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! 18. If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? 19. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? 20. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?21. Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? 22. Why did you just try singing the two songs above? 23. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? 24. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window at 65 miles per hour?25. How deep would the ocean's be if there were no sponges? 26. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? 27. Why is abbreviation such a long word?28. Why do you have a pair of panties, but only one bra? 29. Why do you have a hot water heater when you don't need to heat hot water? 30. Why do you drive on a parkway, park in a driveway, shipment goes by truck and cargo goes by ship? 31. Why is it that four year old kindergarten pre-schoolers can pass a psychological test that 90% of people with PhD's fail?
32. If a tree falls in the woods and there is no one around to hear it, do the other trees laugh at it?
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