I need a break.

By: Cutesyredhead Mood: prickly Date: 12/14/2007 15:54:05 Music: RENT SOUNTRACKKK <3 - Take me for what i am.

A 19 year old boy died on tuesday from a car accident. He decided to go about 100 miles per hour and lost control of the car (he wasn't drunk)and went head on to another car, which also killed a 71 year old man and put his wife in critical care.

the 19 year old boy is a brother of a kid i know in my grade. it's really upsetting.

my mom looked at the newspaper and it was a picture of a blue mustang....kenny had that car (my ex that i'm still having a tough time getting over sorta)...my mom got all sorts of freaked out. i also did to when she told me. i really wanted to call kenny and just hear his voice, honestly..even though i know thats not an option because i am no longer with him.

dave on the other hand is wonderful, i can't help but get all those cute lovey dovey feelings when i'm around him.. even though the thoughts of kenny run through my mind constantly. the first love is REALLY hard to let go of. i really need to forget him and think about dave more. i don't want to hurt him..i really don't.

why do i always think about boys? i keep telling myself i am to young to be thinking into all of this? what if i never find that person i'm meant to be with? what if i end up being alone and familyless? why am i asking all these questions? why do i feel so confused?

anyways school is retarded. like usual.

my friends make fun of me constantly, i know they're just being...friends....but ugh. so what if i don't match? so what if my hair is orange to you, i don't frecking care. just leave me the hell alone god dammit. i've been made fun of ALL my life. i'm okay with that, it made me a stronger person, but i just want people who are my friends and like me...not criticize every god damn thing i do. they are truely great people, they just have no idea how to stop..that's all....

i'm usually the one out of the bunch of my friends to point out things and be straight forward to them when they're being stupid about something. but i just can't seem to get the courage to tell them to cut the crap because it's really making me not want to be around them...i don't want that.

anyways for all the complaining i just did. i can't wait for christmas, i can't wait for new years/17th birthday. i want to get older. i honestly want to get out of highschool.

hope the snow is treating everyone well, because i am sure enjoying it :)!