It’s a curious thing, taking a stand. As a Christian, I am taught to ‘turn the other cheek’, and I do, I think. There have certainly been plenty of times when I have held my tongue instead of saying what is on my mind, and possibly even more times when I have wished that the Old Testament ‘eye for an eye’ still applied. I do suit the ‘turn the other cheek’ mentality far more though, I dare say.
Though I do believe in the whole ‘turn the other cheek’ thing, I do still believe that we are supposed to stand up for ourselves, the people that are important to us, our beliefs. I have been told numerous times that I am – and I quote – “too nice” (if there is such a thing). I have been told that I need to toughen up with regards to certain people, and even a couple of weeks ago – following an incident I still have no real desire to talk about so will mention no further – my flatmate told me that I don’t stand up for myself enough. That could be true. And the reality of that means that I will probably spend the rest of my life having certain kinds of people taking advantage of that fact, pushing because they know that I am unlikely to push back and quite possibly I will spend the rest of my life looking for the good in people that just don’t have it in them.
One of the problems with taking a stand, I suppose, is that it is all relative – what is perfectly acceptable to you may be highly offensive to someone else. And, indeed, how do you know that whatever is causing you to take a stand isn’t actually something that you should just be ignoring? It could just be that you are having an ‘off’ day and maybe the next day you would have just dismissed whatever it is entirely. Or maybe you just have a penchant for the dramatic, are attention seeking or just overly sensitive. Maybe whatever the problem is perceived to be isn’t really a problem at all.
On the surface, taking a stand would always seem to be a good idea – no one should allow themselves to be walked over – but sometimes a little bit of perspective can go a long way. Sometimes taking a stand can make things worse – surely the opposite of the intended result – and not just for you - a fact that over the last 5 or 6 months, I can personally attest to.
Taking a stand for the wrong reasons – attention, or just to cause trouble, for instance – certainly would be hard to justify. As Governor Swann says in Pirates of the Caribbean, “Even a good decision if made for the wrong reasons can be a wrong decision.”
As is true with so many things, it is a case of picking your battles, an idea that can be far trickier than it sounds. Even more so because, unfortunately, taking a stand isn’t something that can be done in retrospect – although hindsight would be an invaluable tool, taking a stand a few months down the line is unlikely to be effective. Indeed, that could explain why I am sometimes reluctant to stand up for myself. It is fair to say that I am not the most spontaneous of people (case in point, my last true act of spontaneity was a couple of years ago when I booked a trip to LA about a week before I flew out. The fact that in 25 years that is the only example I can think of offhand is evidence enough to support my statement) and I am prone to think over a decision thoroughly before I do anything – overthink, in most cases – which does not really lend itself to the act of ‘taking a stand’. The window of opportunity is likely to have shut far before I have reached a decision.
There may come a time when I will decide that enough is enough, there may even come a time when I will just end up going postal (they do say it’s always the quiet ones…), though I would hope not, but for now, I am who I am. I think it is just in my nature to believe there is something good in everyone, and I don’t think I am the type of girl who will ever particularly want to draw attention to myself, so, though I probably do need to be more willing to stand up for myself - and that is by no means a bad thing - on reflection, I would rather be that nice guy (or girl, in my case) that finishes last than know that I have trodden on, used and abused people to get where I want. I would rather be towards the bottom of the heap but knowing that I can look back and not be ashamed of what I have done and how I have treated people, than be on top but full of guilt and shame. Maybe that just equates to a lack of ambition, but if that’s what ambition is, I am happy to be without it.
Love & respect
Darkest
x
im a bit of a nihilist myself. but others opinions are irrelevant. my great grandfather used to say "the only person youve gotta live with for the rest of your life is you" 
its excellent how sure of yourslef you are. the only kind of righteousness that matters after all is self righteousness. do right by your own morals and standards and youll never feel guilty. ciao.