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I stole it from n2enigmas
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What is the single largest item in your house?
My office desk
How well can you write your name with your non dominant hand?
Looks like an explosion in an ink factory
What color is your bedroom?
White walls with a puke green carpet
What type of computer mouse do you use?
Trackball
What is your earliest memory?
You wouldn't believe me
Have you ever jumped off of a high dive?
All the time, just not lately
Do you take vitamins?
No, but I should
Do you like to color inside the lines?
Yes, I'm a perfectionist
What do you have set as your home page?
Yahoo.com, my primary e-mail provider
Do you have your own radio?
Several
Where would you hate to have to work?
Politics, advertising, and anything Mike Rowe does on the Discovery Channel
Who is on your speed dial?
Key co-workers
Do you prefer light bulbs or candles?
I have no reason to use candles right now
How much money did you spend today?
$9.47 on lunch at 4am
What are you sitting on right now?
In a chair on rollers
Do you look at yourself when you pass by reflective surfaces?
No
Would you ever get plastic surgery?
That would require a certain degree of vanity, which I don't have
Did you play with shaving cream when you were a kid?
I don't remember
How big is your bed?
Queen size
Do you like the smell of axe?
Sort of, but I don't wear it for me
What is your favorite flavor of lifesavers?
spearmint
Have you ever seen a volcano?
Pictures
What is the best Halloween costume you have ever worn?
My mom dressed me as an astronaut when I was 3, the year of the moon shot. I plan on dressin as CSI: Miami's Horatio Caine next year
What kind of soap do you use?
Irish Spring
Can you snowboard?
Never tried, but I haven't been able to afford lift tickets for the last 20 years
How many icons do you have on your dekstop?
14
Do you understand how telephones work?
No
Do you write notes on your body?
On my left hand. I call it my Palm Pilot version 1.0
What is the prominent color in your closet?
Lots of colors, but I have just a tad more black
What is sitting next to you right now?
My brother-in-law, whom I'm visiting
Do you believe in lots of conspiracies?
Don't get me started on JFK. I'll bend your ear for hours
Do you own any really old video game systems?
I have every console Nintendo has made, except for Virtual Boy. they all still work
Are you good at baking?
I cook using the four bachelor food groups: fast, frozen, canned and leftover
Have you ever made your own clothing?
No
How many doors does your house have?
2, if you don't count the other apartments in my fourplex
Do you prefer tootsie pops or blow pops?
Tootsie pops. Chocolaty finish
Do you sneak into movie theatres?
I enforce the law, not break it
Are you a really fast text messager?
No
Do you have anything you keep on you 24/7?
Nothing
Do you usually write in print or in cursive?
Print
What was your first job?
Grocery bagger
Do you prefer crushed ice or cubed?
None if I can help it
What print is on your plates or cups in your kitchen?
Nothing except for a mug I got from the Grand Slam Canyon at Circus Circus in Las Vegas
Have you ever made a mixed cd for someone?
Only for myself
What do you want to buy from an infomercial?
Nothing. They're on when I'm at work
Do you believe that animals have souls?
Yes
Do you have a lava lamp or a black light?
Black light
Do you find yourself not having enough electrical outlets?
Sometimes
What is the longest you can wait patiently?
I've never timed it
Have you ever been under anesthesia?
Twice, for my tonsillectomy and wisdom teeth extraction. Mostly local nowadays
Are your fingernails long or short?
Short. When they get long, they curl inward
Are you afraid of bright colors?
No, I just don't wear them
Has anyone ever accused you of being gay?
Only when I tell them I think about sex once every thirty days on average. What's up with that? Gay people think about sex way more often than that. I just have schizophrenia. It's been clinically proven that schizophrenics have significantly less sexual energy than the average person. I haven't been horny in the last seven years
Can you tell people honest things to their face?
With my hand on my taser
Would you rather eat grits or oatmeal?
Never had grits. They don't look appetizing
Do you own a kite?
No
Have you ever run down and up escalator or vice versa?
Yes, racing a friend of mine. I nearly killed myself
What do you think of clothing for pets?
I look at the poor thing in some ridiculous outfit and imagine it's thinking, "Watch your back. I'll go for your jugular when you least expect it"
Do you tend to want things you cannot have?
Sometimes
Is it true that you can be anything you want to be?
I'm living proof of that
Were your parents honest to you about serious things when you were little?
Yes
Would you ever dye your hair purple?
No. Maybe for charity
Who do you think should play you in a movie?
Mike Myers
Would you ever kill someone?
Only if they force me
Do you prefer stripes or polka dots?
Stripes
Are you double jointed in any way?
I have hitchhiker's thumb
What kind of super power do you wish you had?
I just wish I had Batman and Iron Man's tech
Are you easily offended?
Not really
How often do you watch the news?
Not at all
Do you have nightmares very much?
Not too often
Did the movie Jaws ever scare you?
Only in its original run, when I was ten
Have you ever cried to get away with something?
Maybe in my youth
Do you lack common sense sometimes?
No
Are you afraid of snakes?
Just the poisonous kind
Do you use recycle bins at your house?
No. I don't have any
How hot do you like the water in your shower?
Sort of hot
Do you ever walk around your house naked?
No
What is your favorite art form?
Written word
Do you want to be bilingual?
I'd like to be multilingual
Is energy wasted on little kids?
Yes. I wish I could hook them up to a dynamo
Do you lie to make people feel better?
No. "Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free"
Do you like to organize things?
No. A dirty house is the sign of a clean mind
Are you going to have smile lines or frown lines when you're older?
Don't know
Which is better, thick crust or thin?
Thick. I think thin crust is wimpy
How good are you at keeping secrets?
Needing to not discuss open cases is a daily experience for me
What stupid little thing really stresses you out?
Nothing
Can you remember what you wore yesterday?
Black jeans, black shoes, black shirt with the Transformers Decepticon logo on it
Which Disney parks have you been to?
Disneyland
What do you think the drinking age should be?
110
Do you like to wear socks?
I don't like sandals or going barefoot
What is the last cartoon you watched?
Star Wars: Clone Wars
What does your bed comforter look like?
White, blue and orange with an avant-garde pattern I can't decipher
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