WEDNESDAY 4 FEBRUARY – A stress addict’s picnic last night. I’ve been so wound up and angry all night, the easiest thing to do would be to pick up, but a duvet day will protect me sufficiently. I need to calm down, lower the battlements. Last night I went to a fellow resident’s room – we’d only talked in corridors up until now – we were having a good chat, he phoned his daughter. He too is a reforming addict with mental health issues. And as all addicts know and fear when in recovery any temptation is so easy to succumb to. Anyway, while he’s on the phone to daughter, another resident just walks in without knocking or invitation – and within a few minutes is offering up Class A drugs. I don’t do them and the guy’s daughter on the phone having heard the offer starts getting all upset – thinking dad may lapse. Uproar follows. This is meant to be a safe and secure property for REAL cases. But one person upsets the dynamics and we all fear and dread the ease and simplicity of falling back onto the slippery path and downward spiral. No matter your addiction, the consequences are dire. Family and friends get hurt when we pick up, training and employment opportunities disappear and we’re fighting against death not recovery. And if you suffer mental health issues then the problem is not just doubled, it’s multiplied several times. How do ‘pushers’ like he sneak into these projects, denying a genuine case the opportunity. And believe me, it’s like gold dust in this county. I’m going back under the duvet, tomorrow’s another day – and my recovery is more important than anything.
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