Well, I suppose my brilliant idea from the other day concerning VPN clients and work at home during the times in which, my children are ill will never come to fruition. Due to cost cutting initiatives in the company - my job was cut today. I was the sole person in the office to suffer a job loss.
I find it odd. Okay, not really but I find it difficult to digest the fact that I was relayed the message via a telephone conversation. I understand that they probably did not want to waste my time by having me return to work tomorrow only to turn around and go home. Incidentally, they probably did not want to see the pain, fear, anger, and myriad of other emotions on my sleeve.... It's much easier to do it over the phone.
I am not shocked and yet I am. I am angry and yet I am not. I am having a myriad of emotion relating to this loss. I have lost my family in a sense. A family of people that have helped me through some fairly rough transitions over the course of the last year and a half. A family that I grew to love with all of their diverse ways of dealing with things. Yet, I am a dealer in hope or at least I aspire to be.
I have had a multitude of support over the course of hours from friends and family that are near and dear to me. I have been holding back on relaying this in a blog because I was afraid that I would have a lot of angry words or messages to relay. Yet, I do not.
I accept this and face this challenge with a heavy but hopeful heart. I know that I will live through this because I have lived through so much adversity in this lifetime that at times it nearly killed me.
Flashback to the fall of 2007; I was frightened out of my wits with no place to go. I feared that I would lose my life either at the hands of my abuser or of my own. I was down and out and singing the blues at the top of my lungs. YET - I lived through it. Perhaps God (gads, I said that) knew that my potential was brewing in me since birth but it took the final blow of losing a baby for me to realize that the life I was meant to live was not the life I was living.
I endured many heartaches since then but one thing remained strong and that's my indominable spirit. I left my abuser, suffered a severe bout of depression; one, that I thought I might never recover. Yet, I lived through it. I faced the wall of terror and knocked it down with my will to live and survive.
(Dang - this blog should be a prose poem)
Incidentally, this job loss is a mere set back and a precursor of great things to come, I can feel it resting in my bones. I know it, my former employer knows it...that potential inside me that is brewing. I am glad that I have finally found the strength within my mind, body, and soul to endure any heartache with grace.
AND yet, I really want to partake in a rousing session of primal scream therapy. I know I could curl up in a ball and cry right now but really - won't do it. Life is too short to let a small set back get the better of me. Right now, I want to enjoy my children, my time off, and I will begin a search for a new position. In fact, a friend sent me a job referral tonight that sounds promising because of my extensive experience. Yet, I would prefer to find something in the career path I am heading toward in earning my degree....
It's either that or I will force Steve to pay me exactly half of a tenth of a percent of the redhedd profits...lol
Enjoy your night - I am wiped out from a very long and exhausting day....bummmer health network laying me off..... They will suffer and realize just how much they will miss me........ha! Let them find someone who will cancel a vacation with their kids because of guilt due to the fact that her children were ill a couple of weeks prior...
Eh - I should have run away to Daytona 500 when I had the chance......bummer.. 20/20 hindsight....I can only look forward now. :)
thanks for reading....
Love,
Eunice Crankyponts.
Tags: Eunice Crankyponts Lay Off
Cheers, Euni!
