If redheads were to rule the world, it would be a much happier place. Red brick would be celebrated for all its beauty, cranberry sauce would be eaten with every meal and red paint sales would go up in D.I.Y stores worldwide, simply because red was ‘oh-so-cool ‘. The cover of Vogue would always feature a redhead, all the newsreaders would have copper locks, poodles would be dyed red instead of pink and the makeup counters in department stores would offer cosmetics to suit paler-than-pale complexions.
Each country would have a redheaded prime minister, or at least one with some auburn tones. If more people were redheads we wouldn’t have to worry about global warming, as if it as winter all the time it wouldn’t bother us- we can’t go out in the sun anyway!
Although the world would be run by redheads, we wouldn’t persecute non-reds, as that would be mean, and unlike other hair colours, redheads are completely lovely. Everyday would be redhead-day and St Patrick’s Day would seem like a weekly festival to us. The Museum of Redheads would be open in every town, and bookshops would be filled with page after page discussing our unique feature.
Red squirrels would become everyone’s favourite animal, and the beauty of foxes would be discussed daily. Radios would blast out remixes such as ‘Are we human? Or are we redheads?’, ‘I believe in a thing called red’, ‘Benny and the reds’ and ‘We will red you!’
Countries full of redheads would spring up across the globe, and a new brighter, redder continent could be formed! Redhedd.com would become an internet superpower, and would be stronger than Facebook and MySpace combined! We would have a redhead phone tree, and all talk to each other about how awesome it is having red hair!
I truly cannot wait for the reddolution!
Tags: Redheads
