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Posted On 03/02/2010 21:53:59 by EmilySarah

Wellll I just feel like blogging my heart out today.

So be prepared for some lovely teenage angst that goes way too far into detail...woohoo? 

Okay well for starters I just got off the phone with my "best friend".  Who quite frankly has turned into an awful pessimistic mean person.

She lives in Texas so yeah I have not seen her in forever.

At first she seems cheery enough.  And yadda yadda and then she delves into her angst and when I try to give her advice she just complains more and ignores me.  

I being the positive person I am try to provide a silver lining or two with nothing but a rude comment in return.

So then she goes on asking me questions without seeming to care at all.  

And when I tell her about school and how we've been studying the holocaust for so long and I wish we would move on to cheerier subjects cause well the holocaust just really depresses me.  


I'm not shallow...I just don't like dwelling in all these subjects that just make me want to cry.  

I can't help it that I like happy things for crying out LOUD!  

And I mean I respect her opinions.  But she wont even respect mine.

For exampleee.  We were reading the book "Night." in class and I had told her my honest opinion on it.  

I said I didn't really like it and that it was really sad and I usually preferred happier books...again with the happiness...go ahead hate me for being optimistic and such.

And she is like HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN YOUR STUPID SOCIAL CIRCLE.  Blah blah blah shouting mean attackness.

Yeah well that was a fun convo.  All the long awkward silences and criticism.  I was just about THIS close to losing it and flipping out on her.  But I mean I know she had been upset lately and I didn't want to be mean or anything.

So much for the notorious ginger temper huh?

And then there's Bryan.  Who is way too shy for his own good.

We are truly perfect for each other though. 

In Jessicas words.  You're both smart asses you're perfect for each other! 

And really our banter is quite entertaining.  And gosh he is just so nice!  Yeah I just said gosh...don't laugh at me.

I've been sick so I stayed home from school today and Bryan texted me this morning asking how I was and GOSH!  Could he stop being so goddamn sweet?  He's singlehandedly breaking my heart here!

I just wish he would step up and do something already.  And I mean I know its a new generation and blah blah blah.  But every time I make the first move the guy takes it as an excuse for being outright lazy when it comes to our relationship from there on out.

He knows I like him.  And I know he likes me.  And I know he knows he likes me.


And Jessica has bailed on the movies Saturday...sooooo its either going to be me Bryan and Chris...or just me and Bryan.  Either way we have a potentially awkward situation on our hands.

And then god don't even get me started with school!  I used to think it was IMPOSSIBLE to ever have this much work at once.  And I can only imagine all the wonderful makeup work I will receive when I go back tomorrow.  I am PRAYING for a 2 hour delay.  

And well my family life is surprisingly good for once.  Yay silver lining!  Anna is a lot nicer to me when I'm sick.  And well being the first born and all I get doted over when I'm sick.  It's kind of nice.

Gosh I feel so like icky lately though.  I can't remember the last time someone hugged me.  My parents were never particularly cuddly.  

And gosh sometimes I feel like such a misfit.  Not cause of my red hair not that thats not a contributing factor.  But I feel like I can't find anyone I really truly get along with...well except for Bryan but he is just being all shy.  For no reasonnnn.  

Aghhh he talks to me all the time.  Why can't he just amp it up a bit?  Why am I always the one who has to do all the work?  Have all males within my age range been neutered or something?  I mean jeez.  


I'm going to New York to see my lovelies over spring break though :).  It's Katy's birthday too so it'll be PERFECT.  I am so excited!  Thats the only thing I have to look forward to.  My only speck of hope in all this icky crapola.  

No one will text me back.  I think someone should talk to me so I dont feel so lonely.  Gosh.  I'm sooo pathetic sometimes.  

Ahhh.  Someone love me!  Please? 


Viewing 1 - 3 out of 3 Comments

03/03/2010 14:22:28
I love that you type "asdf;sdaf", between thoughts.  I do the same.  LOL

03/03/2010 05:11:10
Oh you are not pathetic at all!  and we all get lonely with a little insecurity at times! Give it a little time and good things may just come your way :)

03/03/2010 01:46:48



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