This is really random and i feel like writing at 3:45 am.
It's really hard to be alone. I have not had a serious boyfriend in about a year. i've had others, but they were a waste of time and ended faster than they started. i feel so alone. i really do. I try to ignore the feeling of wanting someone to hold me and tell me how much they care about me. there are so many boys that tell me i'm pretty, then that's all. I WANT MORE. I just want to be happy.....and honestly i'm not. i keep telling myself i am. but i just feel absolutely miserable anymore when it comes to this subject. it's been a damn year since i've had any interaction with a boy and i feel so upset about it. i know this is absolutely ridiculous bitching about it. but it's been quite cooped up, and i feel like a desperate loser saying it out loud and i want to cry.
Most of you are going to tell me that my time will come. I have to be patient and blah blah blah. but i'm a all around nice person. i think i'm quite good looking. i take care of myself. but it seems like every guy that i've met wants to change something about me. i have no fecking clue what's wrong with me. but i feel so damn alone. maybe because it's like 4am and i'm a pathetic loser who can't sleep and sits on the computer.
i am so ridiculous. i need a way to get out of my head.